I do feel different from when I did this 20yrs ago. Back then I was more relaxed, zero anxiety/stress, and always in a positive mood. Now that I’m 44, I don’t seem to be getting the same high or sensation as before. Kept thinking about this all day today. Was it something I missed? Did I over eat fruit or veggies? Is it due to the body changes as I’m getting older? Metabolism is not the same and have I hit a plateau?

The best answer would be to recalibrate myself, take a step back and realize the hole I was in. That I felt stagnant. Not saying I have a clear vision of what is ahead, but at least knowing where I don’t want to be. There’s def discipline involved. I’d say it’s more psychological than physical when it comes to changes and keeping a steady course.

Let me tell ya… she is a quick learner and drove with amazing confidence. So today, we went out on the actual streets with other cars around. We didn’t go far, but more or less get that feel when others are nearby. She remained calm. There were a few teaching moments I went over with her.

The section was covered by a plastic see-through wall; however this is as close I’ll get to Lincoln. They also had on display the actual gun that Booth shot him with. Now apparently there’s more to the story prior to the assassination and post events. I didn’t know this until I stumbled across an Apple TV+ series: Manhunt.

He was the man who change the way slavery was address and fought for equality. May we remember him always.

I’m expecting something big to where I’d have all my issues or problems resolved. Don’t get me wrong, I have changed a lot. My mind is clearer, my desires of the flesh have gone out the window. I’m less anxious, able to make decisions and stick with the outcomes. Less fearful of the things I used to be a month ago.

The go-to triggers are defense mechanism of course. We can cloud our judgments and not realize there’s something you didn’t consider because you plead your case as perfect or surety of validation. When you take steps back and accept the comments, instead of protecting my feelings, ask the question-why?

There is so much beauty above us that we don’t realize it. I wanted no distractions from the mind or my phone. Just simply be and take in nature how it presents itself over me. Sometime things come up, other’s times a new color across the leaves embrace me. At times I shed a small tear of happiness.

30lbs lighter and we start afresh. This is where it begins…