3rd & 4th Gear

Ever get that feeling when moments are swept from under your own two feet yet only notice when looking back? instead when it actually happened??? and you’re left scratching your head in awe because you knew very well you got this… You had grips of every part of your life right (I’ll be darned)? Our mental state tends to go between overview mode and comparison mode (at least for moi). We evaluate who/what went wrong and off to the races we go on a mission to reshape ourselves. I’m not sure what it is exactly but seems as if I traveled through an interesting phase... Hard to pinpoint, but what I can say for certain is that it feels as if I went from 2nd to 5th gear over the last few years. Came to realization when it was difficult for me to focus on minuscule tasks. Found it hard to release the gas pedal… as if I wanted to continue at freeway speeds through the congested neighborhood of my apartment complex. Basically, didn’t have time to deal with noble citizens abiding by the rubrics of the speed limits. Afterall doesn’t it say in the DMV book to go the speed of your fellow drivers (que the ‘Gimme Some Lovin’ track). To put it into context, my inbox of emails grew each morning as the alarm went off. I grab my smart phone and start to purge messages to see if there’s anything of interest. my mental state was hot-wired to receive a few dozen messages (cause God forbid if I get less then 2, then crap hits the fan and panic mode I go). I see sales from trending shops flood in—20% off your next purchase, Annual dividends: $50.00, new Adidas sneaker released, Independence Day deals extended, summer savings on latest fashion, etc. Or see updates from sports team you follow—Portland exclusive invitation to shop at merchandise stores, join to watch practice session and meet the team. Or receive a plethora of app notification that vary from Facebook, to Instagram, to Snapchat (cause these precede anything else). And why not… More than likely they are friends posting quotes or sharing videos that demand our attention. Now I don’t have Facebook, Instagram, snapchat, etc., but I feel we now run on these little cyber sustenance to paint the way for us on a daily basis-I’ll do a scrambled dose of Instagram feed with all my hashtags toppings, along with a side of hot butter-text pancakes and whip cream emojis on top. Let’s make it an extra shot of espresso today cause I have a lot of content to share throughout my day at work and yoga class after (I don’t do yoga)…

And I only think it’s getting worst these days with the usage of our devices and the busyness of our schedules. Now I’m not married, nor do I have kiddos, but I find myself on the same 5th gear doing one thing after another. As if I had little Hispanic minions chasing me around or trying to put them in order. There’s always something on my mind and sometimes I’m present or I’m not, but either way both my two feet are in oscillation. One of the things we tend to think we have control, when it boils down to busyness, is the outlook or fixed idea of what ‘busy’ looks like to us on a personal level. it is what we define it as within our 24hr day. It’s like we are depicting that picture in our heads daily… and it will be different for everyone. For me, my so-called busy time is dealing with traffic. I never admit I’m busy. I tell myself I got this; I’ll make it on time but internally I’m processing the next lane to take just to avoid red lights. I subconciously feel the need to move over if we don’t start moving within 3 seconds. The car to my left keeps moving, why the heck aren’t we as well??? shoot… If there’s momentum of vehicles to my peripheral, i’m cutting off the next person. Or how about stopping at Starbucks waiting in line for the people in front to order their long ingredient list of lattes and fraps. We psychologically think on the back of our mind that these moments are the reason why we can’t get crap done. That if the barista got it right the first time, I’d save 30 seconds and get more done. Or the person in front of you has the blinker on for 2 minutes and never makes the commitment to steer the wheel onto the next lane. These little scenarios will continue with you through the day. Even to the bathroom trip at the office… and then what, you want to rush that too? In all honesty it puts us in a selfish mood, biased and pushes people away because we are selectively choosing moments where we must feel validate no matter what. But that stays with you all day. 

Oh and now that we have mobile order available… ya know “beat the line” kinda thing. Yeah it’s like those traffic lights upon entering the freeways (please form two lines), either way there will be a line and still have to chill the heck out. And if they mess up your drink? Your bad hair day won’t compare to the fixation of going back and getting it with that extra pump they missed. Instead of running on caffeine, you’re running on stressful fumes—Hot Mess.

If we don’t know how we got from 2nd to 5th gear, its going to feel foreign slowing down cause you’ll forget what 3rd and 4th gear felt like. Guess everyone enjoys 5th gear buy hey… the DMV pamphlet says go the speed of your fellow drivers, so apparently 3rd & 4rd gear is obsolete now… Make sure that ‘Baby on board’ decal doesn’t fall off your rear window.