Target Run

We’ve all been there… cutting it close finding the nearest restroom due to those coffee beverages from the morning or packing the drinks during happy hour. Perhaps the bladder isn’t what it used to be that demands frequent stops. It’s one of those moments you can’t shake the thought of a toilet as you punch in the GPS coordinates on your phone to the nearby Starbucks just in time. Personally, I’ve witnessed this scenario plenty. Not saying it hasn't happened to me. Don’t know about you but the word jerk comes to mind when the only purpose of my visit is to use the restroom without purchasing something. As if it’s the only gas station in the middle of nowhere just for bathroom occupancy. I’ll admit it is a bit humorous looking at the uncomfortable faces when people walk in and out as if they stolen merchandise. I’ve improved over the years yet still a work in progress. The guilt usually gets the best of me at times, so I’ll end up buying a soda/water or exchange a few words with the cashier as I leave. If I were at a restaurant, one or two things could happen although not always the smartest… either hit the bar to avoid the hostess (I know right more fluid in me 🤦🏻‍♂️) and take a few swigs only to race it down the men’s room or ask for the menu at the check-in booth followed by a phone call pretending to be speaking with someone about the amazing meals. Normally I do the latter as it is easiest and be on my merry way. I realize some people simply don’t give a darn as long as they take care of business. Makes me want to charge a flat fee if I was running the show. Either way people have their reasons… whether valid or ludicrous, you quantify the best plan of action your mind can sum up.

Let me tell you a scenario I witnessed while visiting Target that turned my judgmental thoughts upside down. Side note… the second I thought Target was my new favorite store to shop (or found myself excited to see that giant red target circle) is when I knew I jumped over to the senior fence… Well, one afternoon I had downtime yet wasn’t looking forward to do errands because of the crazy workload that morning. I remembered some items needed to be returned before the expiration date (possibly look at decorations for my place 🤦🏻‍♂️). Figured getting some air would get me out of my funk, so the Target run was my excuse. It wasn’t too late however traffic hour was around the corner. Driving to the store, I anticipated the customer service line would be 2 people or less thus return home quickly to binge watch my Peaky Blinders show. Looking around for a parking spot, I see a mom pull out the stroller from the trunk and firmly tells her daughter to sit. Scared kid, she was frozen like a statue until mama bear reiterated it right in her face. Another mom makes her way to the entrance doors carrying a toddler in one arm whilst pulling the other child with her opposite hand. Her Gucci bag flings carelessly over her shoulder until it falls to her elbow adding more weight. A dad grabs the reading glasses from his button shirt and lands them on his face as he grabs the grocery list from the back pocket of his jeans with the other hand. Ready for action, he chins-up for his mission and enters boldly. Turning my car into another aisle, the handicap spaces are full. I park the Honda little far from the entrance to avoid being dinked by a cart and turn off the engine.

Walking into the store I had three people in front of me at the customer service line (dang it). Figured everyone is probably in a hurry just like me so they want to make this as quickly as possible. After a few minutes have passed and looking at other shoppers come into the store (not judging), I see an old fella with a limp making his way through the doors and towards me. I’d say he was in his early 70’s however his stride was young for his age. He didn’t face me but kept his eyes locked in front of his feet so as to see where he was going. Without a mask (and I didn’t think he cared) he passed right through the space between me and the customer in front. My eyes followed the man without moving my head making this awkward facial expression. Guess he’s just not having a good day I thought. Not interrupting his world, I stepped back just in time to avoid being hit. Strange fella is what was going through my mind… Turning back to the line, two customers remain ahead. To my dismay I realized that the old man was heading to the nearest bathroom door, which if I know this store well, it was to the women’s restroom. I turned and… yup… oh boy… there he goes. Ohhh boy indeed. Scanning around to see if anyone also noticed, but I was the lucky one. The Samaritan in me wanted to get him regardless if I have to start over in the queue, but what if it backfires on me to where some gal catches me going in like a pedophile and tells security. To my relief, I notice a women close to his age also approaching me. I put two pieces together and figured this was his wife as she also probably needed to use the restroom. As she got closer, I interrupted her pace and said, “Excuse me, but I think your husband just went into the ladies room”. Looking at me for a second, she paused and smirked at me. As if she was thanking me and put her sight back to the front of her feet making her way to the lavatory. I thought she was going to pick up her pace or maybe run (if she is able), but nope… kept her normal walk and didn’t show any signs of panic. Passing me she yell’s “HEY JER… WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE WOMANS BATHROOM”. With a reply from the man: “WHAT!!!”. “JER… YOUR IN THE WRONG BATHROOM JER” she says. The woman is closer now and repeats his name one more time. The man comes out and remains at the door frame trying to look at where he is. He then replies: “WELL IM SORRY, THEY ALL JUST LOOK THE SAME”. She points to the men’s restroom to where he obeys and makes his way. Again, I looked around and everyone kept to their own not noticing at all. Thankfully no women were in there when JER accidentally entered the room. The interaction between both deemed ordinary between them-as if that was their dynamic. Wouldn’t surprise me if it happens occasionally and they probably don’t give a hoot what others think. Just don’t loose one another other I guess. It was quite humorous to say the least… I was able to make it to the cashier and gave her my items along with the receipt for the refund. Couple of clicks on the machine, quick verbal interactions and smiles I was done and proceeded to head back out. Walking towards the parking lot I noticed the couple were a few yards in front of me making their way back to their car. Going at a slower pace, I was able to catch up to them and turned to face JER and asked him if he everything was okay? JER smirked and mentioned that at his age it has been quite the challenge trying to hold it in. His wife smiled as he told me this and can tell they are a team. We exchanged words and briefly shared insight behind my life as we reached our cars. We both learned a bit about one another and was glad to spend time with them. They seemed genuine with much heart and uniqueness. I will remember JER and I’m sure this won’t be his last close call… god speed JER 🤞🏼